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It's like watching a supermodel take a crap in the woods
22nd-Jun-2006 02:40 pm
I walked into the bathroom. Nothing unusual.
Half sat, half hovered over the toilet seat. Nothing unusual.
Began peeing... and then... I saw something on the floor... small, brown, furry and many legged. Highly unusual.
Now... what to do...
I looked at it.
A wiser person would have just finished peeing and put their pants back on and THEN looked.
But I looked. This thing was WELL HUNG. It had fangs almost as big as it's legs. It wasn't just sitting there either... it was crawling straight for me!
Sure I wanted to scream... but I was at work.
Sure I wanted to just stand up and pee all over myself and run out of the bathroom and down the hall with my pants around my ankles... but I was at work.
There's a breaking point... after the OMGOMGOMGOMFG THAT'S SO !!!! ... the panic just sorta levels out and I do what
I have to do! So I finished peeing! I put my pants on! I EVEN WASHED MY HANDS ALL WHILE STARING AT THE THING! And I didn't totally flip out! Otherwise I'd be known as spider girl for the rest of my career here.
25th-Jun-2006 06:07 am (UTC)
wolf spiders! they love to stalk you when you're naked or otherwise exposed in a bathroom. I had one in Tally that charged out from behind the toilet right at me while I was putting lotion on my legs after a shower. so I'm on one foot with the other on the counter, naked, and suddenly being chased by a spider. I went and got a big fucking boot and smashed the fucker after it flexed up and down a few times and continued after me into the other room.
25th-Jun-2006 03:07 pm (UTC)
OH MY GOD! I'd be dead.
25th-Jun-2006 05:32 pm (UTC)
long, long ago as a child, I opened the front door of my house t'run out t'play one bright morning and found that a big, nasty, hairy spider had built a web right across the door. Being the daft child that I was, I ran right into it, proceeded to shriek and flail around in the web while the spider took the opportunity to bite me on the face a few times. That was a lotta fun. I have a serious amount of hate for big hairy spiders. :)
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