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It's like watching a supermodel take a crap in the woods
Recent Entries 
25th-Oct-2008 09:05 pm - IKEA
patsy
I would not be surprised if IKEA has toilet paper made out of wool.
23rd-Jun-2007 01:28 am - Dolores O'Riordan
Insane
Ok I love Dolores O'Riordan (of the Cranberries). That's why I'm allowed to say this. I just watched a video clip of her on Amazon.com for her new solo album and her stage presence is kinda like... an agitated retarded kid that periodically might need to take a crap but isn't so sure. She is AMAZINGLY dorky. I never would have imagined. I like her even more now.
16th-Feb-2007 12:39 pm - Sign me up too
Insane
I just realized there's a chance I could be the father of Dannielynn.
23rd-Jan-2007 05:00 pm - Hi AJAX...
Insane
There's too much to know about ASP.NET, CSS, and now... AJAX. Give me a freaking break. Is there anyone out there that is using this stuff besides me and 1 ex-boyfriend?! Sometimes I just get sick of Google and need to ask someone a question instead of using message boards or random guessing.
9th-Nov-2006 01:50 pm - If dogs ran for political office...
Insane
Tobey Bittson... Liberal... Underwear licker... Tobey Bittson.... You're just wrong!
18th-Oct-2006 06:19 pm - asp.net
Insane
I'm pretty sure I was duped. I was led to believe that developing in ASP.NET was a time saver. ha ha ha ha ha. It took me about... 4 hours to create a data source that would then bind to a radio button list on a button click event within a wizard control. That should not take 4 hours. I had to manually edit like a zillion things. Usually I'm not against this. But then usually... I know what I'm writing in. Being so new and no clueless I'm trying to rely on the "wizards" in visual studio. Well those things are just toying with my head. I had one problem where my data source wasn't seeing a control parameter that I had set to a textbox that I selected within one of their wizard controls! The wizard saw the textbox... but suddenly the page got dumb at runtime. It turns out you have to reference all parent containers on the page. So I had to go all the way back to the container in my masterpage! Freaking ridiculous. My day was filled with little lovely things like that. I wish there were other developers here doing asp.net. I have 0 help except for 1 ex-boyfriend and Google. If Google didn't exist I would have gone on a murderous rampage by now.
13th-Oct-2006 11:45 am - This is a bit too close to reality
patsy
Weird Al has a Prius!!!

8th-Sep-2006 09:48 am - My toad
Insane
Sunday night I arrived home to a tragedy. I came to a stop in the driveway with the headlights pointed at what used to be the favorite location of my toad! HE WAS F-ING GONE!

Monday I received this:

From: K Z [Ivegotyourtoad@yahoo.com]
Subject: Ransom instructions to follow...

Included was a horrible picture of my poor toad who has obviously been beaten.
Don't die on me now toad!

Tuesday I received this:

From: Toad Napper [toadnapper@yahoo.com]
Subject: Actual Toad ransom email
Body: Disregard any other ransom emails. Those were not initials...just some random letters. Ransom instructions to follow!!!

Included was another picture of my abused toad which I have left out here because I just can't look at it.

Friday I received this:

From: Toad Napper [toadnapper@yahoo.com]
Subject: Toad Ransom Demand #1
Body:

A haiku or limerick by Sunday...or the toad gets it!!

Suggested topics:
-How much you like your friend from, say, Atlanta
-How much fun you have when any particular friend comes to visit you
-Floating down spring-fed rivers

Too bad I know you can't actually cook!

Someone out there is a sick bastard!!!
22nd-Jun-2006 02:40 pm - WHY!
Insane
I walked into the bathroom. Nothing unusual.
Half sat, half hovered over the toilet seat. Nothing unusual.
Began peeing... and then... I saw something on the floor... small, brown, furry and many legged. Highly unusual.
Now... what to do...
I looked at it.
A wiser person would have just finished peeing and put their pants back on and THEN looked.
But I looked. This thing was WELL HUNG. It had fangs almost as big as it's legs. It wasn't just sitting there either... it was crawling straight for me!
Sure I wanted to scream... but I was at work.
Sure I wanted to just stand up and pee all over myself and run out of the bathroom and down the hall with my pants around my ankles... but I was at work.
There's a breaking point... after the OMGOMGOMGOMFG THAT'S SO !!!! ... the panic just sorta levels out and I do what
I have to do! So I finished peeing! I put my pants on! I EVEN WASHED MY HANDS ALL WHILE STARING AT THE THING! And I didn't totally flip out! Otherwise I'd be known as spider girl for the rest of my career here.
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